When I opened up the computer and sat down to write today God had already given me the subject on which I was to write. However it was quickly changed when I signed into the control panel of the web site and noticed a notification telling me there was a new subscriber to the blog. Whenever I have a new subscriber to the blog, I like send them little e-mail to say hello and thank them for subscribing. But today I didn't need to send any sort of note as it was obvious the subscriber was only being ugly and very unkind. The e-mail address provided was filthy and disgusting both of which I found profoundly sad.
I was heartbroken when I realized what the e-mail address said and honestly I felt like crying. I have worked so hard trying to follow what I know in my heart God has wanted me to do, working to build up readership and establish a following. Undertaking this project has not been easy and I have shared many of my struggles with those of you who have been with me from the beginning. To be honest, I have had very little support from my friends and while I do not know many people the overwhelming majority of those I do know have never looked at the sight. And what totally surprised and disappointed me was the lack of encouragement I have received from my church. There has been one couple who have supported this ministry and they visit the site almost daily for which I am extremely grateful, but honestly I know of no other person with whom I attend church, including my pastor, who has even looked at the pictures.
I truly do not know what has happened to our country let alone our society. When did it become easier to harass and demean someone who disagrees with us than to simply engage in a conversation, state your own opinion or at the very least just politely walk away? When did we stop having the smallest degree of respect for a person because they have the courage of their convictions and are not afraid to stand for something even if we don't agree? When did we flush common courtesy and morality down the toilet? And when did we start believing we are more important than anybody else?
I will confess in a fleeting moment of weakness I thought about just giving up this blog. Just walking away from it because I got my feelings hurt: I grew weary and things became hard. And then in the middle of my pity party, I heard God's still small voice remind me of all the suffering and persecution Jesus went thru to save me and suddenly I felt very ashamed that it took so little to cast down my heart. So after a talk with myself I am here to tell you that I have renewed my resolve to carry on with this blog and determined to make it better than ever. It matters not who does and does not support what I am doing because I am being true to God and myself. And to the poor soul who subscribed with the nasty e-mail address I will pray for you and hope that you find peace and freedom from whatever has made you so bitter and angry.
Until we meet here again, I pray God bless you and keep your loved ones safe.