I have spent my entire life trying to "fix" my physical appearance so that people would find me acceptable. From a very young age it was pointed out, with my best interests at heart of course, that I was much heavier than I should be. Some of the well meaning adults in my life made every effort to be delicate with their helpful suggestions, while others pulled no punches and came right out with the observations that I would be so pretty if only I wasn't so fat. I grew up believing that food was bad and my sworn mortal enemy and that is how I have lived my life. I have allowed my insecurities and feelings of worthlessness about my appearance to dominate my life. Pretty shallow wouldn't you say?
Because of those feelings and deeply rooted beliefs, I have felt isolated most of my life. I always felt when I met someone for the first time or saw someone whom I hadn't seen for some time, that the first thing the assessed was my weight. If I was in fact thinner than our last encounter I would feel pretty good but if I had gained weight I was certain they were thinking about how fat I was. And while that may have been what they were thinking, how sad that I thought the only thing worth noticing about me was how I looked.
Sadly I have come to realize that I am not alone in the way I have felt most of my life. I have actually come to believe that for a woman, and perhaps men, to not feel this way is the exception rather than the rule. How very sad it is that people have fallen for this false narrative of personal worth being based on physical attractiveness. We never stop to think about God and what He thinks about us.
When you think about it, the truth of the matter is when we criticize our appearance in any way what we are really doing is telling God that He didn't do a good enough job creating us. That we know better than He how we should have been made. I don't know about you, but since I have seen error of my thinking, I have made many changes regarding how I view my weight. God has shown me that my real beauty lies beneath the physical appearance that the world sees, and lies with my spirit which only God has really seen. And yours does too.
Until we meet here again, I pray God bless you and keep your loved ones safe.